You Found Me

Waiting for you to be here. For him. For us. For me. I stare. A reflection of my apathy. My soul an empty cavity cut by torrents raging too long. And it feels like you’re long gone. I’m on time borrowed. Abandoned to live in the shadow of death in sorrow upon sorrow.

They say it’ll be alright. Say it’s good, right, that we have him here. Now God will draw near. But I’m not right. I’m undone wondering why you haven’t shined your light. Why haven’t you come to his recuse? Did you forget to? And why have you not come to mine? 

So I masquerade in other people’s parade of your love. Your goodness, they say, is on display. “Look what God has done!” Excuse me if I’m dismayed. I’ve been played for a fool in my own story. My loss a cheap investment for strangers’ profit.

“You found me.” A stranger’s faint voice cuts the callousness formed by this mess. I turn in the shadows to see one aquatinted with all that haunts and hurts me. One I thought I knew but now I see. And he embraces me.